Jeff Hiller, known for his role in ‘Somebody Somewhere,’ shares a deeply personal narrative in his new memoir, ‘Actress of a Certain Age.’ In an exclusive interview, Hiller discusses the challenges he faced growing up as a gay kid in the South, the impact of bullying, and the surprising turns his life took before finding success in Hollywood. This article delves into Hiller’s reflections on his journey, the catharsis he found in writing about his experiences, and his hopes for greater representation in the entertainment industry.
Confronting Bullying in the South
Growing up gay in Texas presented significant challenges for Jeff Hiller. He recounts the bullying he endured, describing it as a traumatic experience that writing about it ultimately helped him process. Hiller expresses compassion for his younger self, recognizing the pain and isolation he felt during those formative years.
Well, it’s funny because I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal. I wrote it and I was like, ‘This is traumatic.’ But it was also a little bit cathartic because I’m in therapy [and] I was talking about writing it and being like, ‘It’s weird that it’s bringing up a little bit of pain.” And my therapist was like, ‘Yeah, it was a traumatic experience.’ So, it was actually cathartic where I was like, ‘Yeah, it was actually bad.’ I forgave myself a little bit by writing about that, and I have a lot of compassion for my younger self.
Drawing Inspiration from Celebrity Memoirs
Hiller, a self-proclaimed connoisseur of celebrity memoirs, reveals that he drew inspiration from figures like , and . He aimed to emulate their vulnerability and humor while sharing his own unique story. His book’s chapter titles are even nods to some of his favorite memoirs.
I love . Her book is called Handbook For an Unpredictable Life. It’s really, really good. I loved, Hello, Molly [by] . Listen, I was all in for and . They were both great.
Finding Success Later in Life
Hiller’s breakout role in ‘Somebody Somewhere’ came at the age of 44, a milestone he acknowledges with both gratitude and a touch of realism. He admits to having doubted whether he would ever get the chance to showcase his abilities fully. Despite the challenges of navigating Hollywood as a middle-aged, openly gay actor, Hiller remains hopeful and determined.
For me, the big thing was I felt like, ‘Oh, I’ll never be able to show what I can do, what I can give.’ And I totally understand that there are smaller roles, and you have to just find the little thing and make it pop or whatever. I get that, and I realized it would be exhausting if every character in the movie had an internal life, but I always wanted to play a character that had a little depth.
Openness About Food Addiction
Hiller’s memoir also delves into his struggles with food addiction, a topic he approaches with candor and a lack of taboo. He shares his experiences with weight fluctuations and his realization that achieving thinness wouldn’t necessarily lead to happiness.
I didn’t think of it, really. I’m just like, ‘Yeah, of course I have a food addiction. I mean, look at me. I go up and down. I go up and down.’ I come from a family that has food addictions and almost all of my friends have them, too, so it doesn’t feel all that taboo. I just wanted to be honest about who I was.
Reflecting on His Coming Out Speech
The book includes Hiller’s coming out speech, written when he was 22. Rereading it now, he finds it both poignant and revealing, highlighting the fears and anxieties that were prevalent during that period. It serves as a stark reminder of how much societal attitudes towards homosexuality have evolved.
Oh God, it made me so sad. I don’t know why I included it. For me, it was so wild to see how differently I felt. Some of the worries and fears that I was trying to address…I was worried that people thought I would have AIDS. What the hell? That’s so dark. It was like a time capsule that showed what my mind was like at that scary time in my life.
The Importance of Representation and Varied Roles
Hiller emphasizes the need for greater representation of diverse characters in film and television, advocating for roles that go beyond stereotypical portrayals. He expresses a desire to play more complex and morally ambiguous characters, breaking away from the traditional focus on young, conventionally attractive individuals.
I want to see more varied roles for everyone. There’s been so many films and television shows centered around beautiful people. They’re young, white beautiful people in their twenties, and I respect them, and there’s good writing, [but] there’s other stories to be told, too.
Hopes for a ‘Somebody Somewhere’ Reunion
Hiller shares his enthusiasm for a potential ‘Somebody Somewhere’ reunion, revealing that the cast members are eager to revisit their beloved characters. However, he acknowledges that the decision ultimately rests on financial and creative factors.
I mean, we’ve dreamed about it, There was nobody that was like, ‘Oh, okay, onto the next.’ It was so special for all of us, and we really do love each other. We had a FYC event [recently], and afterward, we were dancing. We were supposed to mingle for cocktails with Emmy voters, but they all left and we were dancing. So, I think everybody would be on board in a heartbeat if something happened.
Final Thoughts
Jeff Hiller’s story is one of resilience, self-discovery, and the pursuit of dreams against the odds. ‘Actress of a Certain Age’ promises to be a compelling and relatable memoir, offering insights into the life of a working actor, the challenges of self-acceptance, and the importance of embracing one’s unique journey. Hiller’s candid reflections and unwavering spirit serve as an inspiration to anyone who has ever felt like an outsider or doubted their own potential.
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