Kalani Sitake isn’t just a football coach; he’s a culture architect. At Brigham Young University (BYU), he’s cultivated an environment where joy, personal connection, and leadership development take center stage. This approach has not only led to on-field success but has also transformed the lives of his players. This article delves into the unique leadership style of Kalani Sitake, exploring how his emphasis on building relationships and fostering a positive team dynamic sets him apart in the competitive world of college football. From his ‘AMP’ principle to the poignant story of his upbringing, discover the key elements that define Sitake’s coaching philosophy and its profound impact on BYU’s football program.
A Leader Defined by Joy
Kalani Sitake’s leadership is a refreshing departure from the often-intense world of college football. His priority isn’t solely on psychological tactics or stirring up rivalry hatred. Instead, he aims to befriend fellow coaches, believing that ‘wishing bad things on good people is not good for the soul.’ This emphasis on positivity permeates his entire program, creating an atmosphere where players feel valued and supported.
The story shared by The Athletic highlights Sitake’s genuine interest in others. A simple glimpse of a reporter’s toddler sparked a conversation that transcended football, revealing Sitake’s down-to-earth nature and ability to connect on a personal level. This ability to relate to people is at the heart of his leadership.
According to former BYU center James Empey, Sitake fosters an environment where players don’t take themselves too seriously and can be open with each other. This openness is cultivated through unique team activities like karaoke, where players are encouraged to let loose and embrace vulnerability.
AMP: The Keys to Motivation
Sitake’s program is built on the principles of ‘love and learn,’ further refined by insights from Daniel Pink’s book, ‘Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us.’ He emphasizes three key elements, which he summarizes with the acronym ‘AMP’: Autonomy, Mastery, and Purpose.
- Autonomy: Giving individuals a say in things and fostering a sense of ownership.
- Mastery: Encouraging the pursuit of perfecting one’s craft.
- Purpose: Connecting individuals to something bigger than themselves.
This approach has proven successful, with the Cougars experiencing only two losing seasons in the last nine years and achieving an impressive 11-2 record last season. Even with a true freshman quarterback, the team is currently ranked No. 15 and boasts a 6-0 record. Sitake’s steady leadership was also crucial in navigating BYU’s transition into a Power 4 conference in 2023.
‘A stands for Autonomy. People want to have a say in things and want ownership naturally. M stands for Mastery. You want to feel like you can work at something and perfect your craft. P stands for Purpose. You want to feel like you’re part of something bigger than yourself.’ – Kalani Sitake
Learning From a Legend
Sitake’s coaching philosophy is deeply rooted in the legacy of legendary BYU coach LaVell Edwards, who led the Cougars for 29 seasons. As a team captain during Edwards’ final season in 2000, Sitake was heavily influenced by his mentor’s leadership style. Edwards encouraged open communication and the suggestion of alternative schemes, fostering a culture of innovation and collaboration.
Sitake has taken Edwards’ principles and refined them for a new generation of players. He understands the importance of engaging Gen Z athletes by making them feel seen, heard, and personally involved. This includes adapting meeting formats to maintain focus and encourage active participation.
‘All I did is do what he did and try to define it a little bit more and refine it a little bit more. I had to confirm that system and to see if that works with this generation.’ – Kalani Sitake
The Power of Small Gestures
Sitake believes that the most impactful team meetings are those centered around acts of kindness and brightening the days of others. He emphasizes the lasting effect of a simple smile and encourages his players to focus on making a difference in people’s lives. He wants his players to understand the significance of their platform.
Former BYU defensive end Tyler Batty emphasizes that the success of the team depends on the players taking individual and collective ownership. Sitake consistently conveys this message, irrespective of whether the team is winning or struggling. This fosters an environment of shared responsibility and commitment.
A Christmas of Hungry Bellies and Full Souls
A defining moment in Sitake’s life, a story he shares with emotion, reveals the origins of his focus on joy and connection. One particularly cold Christmas, after his family had moved to Provo, they had very little. They went for a drive to look at Christmas lights, listening to The Temptations’ Christmas Card album and singing along together. Despite their financial struggles, Sitake remembers this as one of his most memorable Christmases, filled with shared joy and togetherness.
This experience instilled in him a deep appreciation for perspective and the importance of finding joy even in difficult circumstances. It shaped his leadership style, emphasizing the value of human connection and the ability to find happiness within oneself.
The Minister of Joy
Sitake’s father, Tom, embodies the spirit of joy and positivity that permeates the BYU football program. Often seen wearing aviator shades or a BYU fedora, he is known for flashing the ‘shaka,’ a Hawaiian hand gesture signifying love, relaxation, and enjoyment. The ‘shaka’ has become a symbol of the Sitake era at BYU, representing the importance of spreading good vibes even in the face of adversity.
Tom Sitake instilled in his son the values of hard work, humility, and kindness. He taught him that true happiness is not measured by material possessions but by what resides within one’s heart. These lessons form the foundation of Kalani Sitake’s leadership philosophy and his commitment to creating a positive and supportive environment for his players.
Conclusion
Kalani Sitake’s leadership at BYU transcends the traditional boundaries of college football coaching. His focus on building relationships, fostering a positive team culture, and emphasizing personal development has created a program that is both successful and transformative. By prioritizing joy, connection, and the principles of autonomy, mastery, and purpose, Sitake has redefined what it means to be a leader in college football. His impact extends beyond the field, shaping the lives of his players and inspiring them to become better individuals. Kalani Sitake isn’t just winning games; he’s building a legacy of leadership that will resonate for years to come.

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